5 easy ways to give yourself a powerful communication advantage
Learn how to recognize and read important business cues
Welcome to Illuminate Me. Each week, I share an illuminating insight to help you communicate and connect better, growing your impact and career.
This week’s insight: Don’t miss the “tells.”
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve done one thing that’s a dead giveaway I’m concentrating and working hard to make something happen:
Stick out my tongue.
This is known as a “tell,” a behavior or mannerism that inadvertently reveals someone’s true thoughts, intentions, or emotions.
Tells are funny things; they telegraph a range of emotions, often without us knowing they’re doing so.
Sometimes, they’re obvious: a child bouncing in his seat in joyful anticipation of his birthday cake.
Other times, tells are less pronounced but ever-present, particularly in the workplace.
Recognizing and reading these signs can be a powerful communication advantage in business. Yet far too often, people miss these important cues.
Here are five easy ways not to:
1. Watch for non-verbal cues.
In one of my favorite television series, Lie To Me, experts reading “micro-expressions” (rapid movements of facial muscles tied to underlying emotions) could detect deception, anger, disgust, sadness, happiness, fear, and surprise.
Even without a micro-expression expert, you can learn to read body language using your powers of observation. For instance, if someone positions themselves away from you as you speak to her, she might feel threatened. If you notice that your customers have their arms crossed as you’re pitching a new concept to them, they’re probably not open to it.
Of course, some body language signals that things are going your way, such as when your client maintains eye contact and leans slightly toward you.
And the best possible scenario? Your intended audience is mirroring your body language. This is a non-verbal cue that they genuinely connect and agree with what you’re saying.
2. Listen for incongruence.
Not all tells are non-verbal.
Have you ever had a conversation with a boss where she said one thing, but the way she said it seemed off? Was her voice higher (or lower) than usual? Was her cadence faster? How about her word choice — was it slow and deliberate where she usually speaks off the cuff?
The inconsistencies from her regular speech pattern could signal that there’s more to what she’s saying than meets the eye (or ear).
Sometimes you’ll even have a combination of verbal and non-verbal tells, where what someone is saying (“Of course, I believe in this product!”) doesn’t jive with their body language (head shaking back and forth as if saying “no”). In these instances, the key is to watch for conflicting cues.
3. Read between the lines.
The tone in email can be challenging to read, but doing so can be a clue that something’s amiss — or great.
Say you and your client have a good rapport, translating to a relaxed, conversational tone in your email exchanges.
Then you notice that their word choice has become more formal and that their emails are more structured and less frequent. What are they not saying? This could signal that your project has gone off the rails and your contract is in jeopardy.
Conversely, a colleague may email you about an opportunity for “someone you might know.” In this instance, cryptic language is used to preserve confidentiality and pique your interest to spark an offline discussion.
In both examples, switching communication mediums and having a live conversation is a better way to get a handle on what’s happening.
4. Pay attention.
My biggest communication takeaway is to pay attention: to your clients, boss, and colleagues.
When you pay attention, you’re able to establish a baseline of their verbal and non-verbal behaviors. And when they deviate from that norm, you’ll be tipped off when something isn’t quite what it seems — and, more importantly, have the time to investigate and rectify the situation.
5. Trust your gut.
Finally, don’t underestimate your gut instinct. If your intuition tells you something seems off, there’s a good chance it is. Use the opportunity to investigate and gain a better understanding of the situation.
Remember, don’t miss the “tells.”
Another way not to miss a tell?
Ask yourself one crucial question.
In my latest Forbes article, I share the most important career question you can ask yourself—and why your answer matters.
And ICYMI…
One day you’re casually moving through your career; the next, you’re sideswiped by negative, unexpected news.
In my recent Forbes article, I shared the three best things to do when life throws you a career curveball.
Another way to give yourself a powerful communication advantage?
Being intentional with your in-person presence.
And I can help.
I’m excited to announce that I’m adding image consulting to my professional services.
My gift is bringing out the best in others, empowering them to show up as their authentic selves and share themselves with the world in a meaningful way.
I’ve done this with my ghostwriting clients by shaping their stories and insights into compelling posts to position them as experts, draw others (clients, partners, talent, or investors) to them, and clarify their distinct points of view.
And now, as an expertly trained image consultant with House of Colour, I’ll help my clients walk into a room feeling confident, empowered, and absolutely certain they’re projecting an image that aligns with and expressed their individuality.
Said another way, I help leaders elevate their presence in person and online to communicate and connect better, magnifying their impact.
And I’d love to help you elevate yours.
Interested? Learn more and book an exclusive one-on-one or duo color analysis appointment in my San Francisco Bay Area studio.
More illumination:
Miss last week’s newsletter? Yes, taking a risk is scary. I shared why you should do it anyway.
And one from the archives: I’m taking you way, way back to the start of this newsletter and how being “perfectly imperfect” can be your greatest asset.
P.S.
What I do:
When I’m not writing this newsletter or observing tells, I’m helping leaders elevate their presence in person and online to communicate and connect better, magnifying their impact.
Learn more by visiting my website.
Where you can follow me and find more of my work:
My new House of Colour Instagram: The place to learn more about my newest business venture and how to elevate your in-person image while celebrating your individuality.
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